It's obviously fake, everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola. Behind every girl’s selfie are approximately 43 nearly identical photos that just didn’t cut it. I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror. I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times... If someday we all go to prison for downloading music illegally, I hope they split us up by music genres. I accidentally broke my Irish friend's Pixar movie. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. My room isn't dirty, I just have everything on display. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. You will never get out of it alive." -Elbert Hubbard "Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Going to Mc Donald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug. Saw some footage of polar bears drinking water today. Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. If I die in my sleep, at least I can actually say that I died doing what I loved. If your boyfriend remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs. No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. If you bring a gun to the pharmacy, you can get drugs without a doctor's prescription. Girls Fall in love with what they hear, and guys fall in love with what they see. I named my dog "5 miles", so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If only God can judge us, then Santa has some explaining to do. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican. Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments. In about 20 years, the hardest thing our kids will have to do is find a username that isn't taken. Why do medications never have any good side effects?
I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? Boobs are just proof that men can focus on two things at once. Just once I'd like to read a medicine bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness" Some day when scientists discover the center of the universe, many people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.It’s going to help you implement a few local dating shortcuts that will have a stunning girl in your bed within a few hours from now. Here are some common questions about adult dating: No.Your friend has probably heard that from another friend.You’re already “in” with her, so don’t be afraid to go all out. Some canned lines are good enough to stand on their own — and some so clever that it’d be a shame not to use them — but if you can come up with a line that matches the situation, you’ll set yourself apart.Rather than presenting the other person a single line that they can either accept or reject wholesale, you might fair better if you get them actively engaged with a miniature guessing game and pull a plot twist on them at the end.